PREMARITAL SEX - WHAT'S THE HARM

 

PRESEX -  HARMFUL OR FUNFILLED?

STORYLINE

Charlotte has been seeing Billy for only two months, but she feels as if she’s known him forever. They text each other constantly, they talk for hours at a time on the phone, and they can even finish each other’s sentences! But now on a night date, as they sit in a parked car under the days eve Charlotte is enjoying the view but Billy wants more than conversation so he starts touching her face and sensitive parts During the past two months, Charlotte and Billy have done nothing more than hold hands and briefly kiss. Charlotte doesn’t want to go further. But losing Billy is the last thing on her mind. After all, no one makes her feel so beautiful, so special. ‘Besides,’ she tells herself, ‘Mike and I are in love... 

The decision to become physically intimate with a partner is a big one, and there’s a lot to think about. 

Don’t let the heat of the moment or an emotional situation sweep you off your feet. 

Instead, take time to think and talk about your feelings and beliefs ahead of time. 

Talking to your parents or another trusted adult can really help, too. 

You can most likely guess where the scenario above is heading. 

This literally looks like one of those romance scenes you see in movies. 

The truth is sex would dramatically change things for any relationship especially relationship a relationship between people who are not legally married and most likely, not for the better. 

Life and Nature are made up of laws that we must obey and every law has its pros and cons 

There is basically two types of laws - Physical and Spiritual Law. 

If you defy a physical law, such as the law of gravity, you suffer the consequences. 

The same is true if you defy a moral law, such as the one that states: “Abstain from fornication.” 

(1 Thessalonians 4:3) 

Now here's the question - 

Is there anything wrong with premarital sex? 

Isn't sex just for fun and nothing else? 

Does God disapprove of premarital sex?  And if he does, why? 

What if I refuse to obey him? 

These and many more are the questions that run through the mind of teenagers on this subject 

The Bible says - “He that practices fornication is sinning against his own body.” (1 Corinthians 6:18). 

Is this true? 

Activity: Can you list below three harmful effects that can come to those who engage in premarital sex? 

1.

2. 

3. 

Now let us make this clear - 

God has moral laws that he wants us to obey and one of those laws says to "Abstain from fornication" 

Therefore if you're not obeying this law you're disobeying it and if you're disobeying it, God is not happy with you.  

God created sex for the legally married and not for a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. 

Perhaps like Charlotte in the story above you might feel tempted, you might even feel that sex will make you and your partner closer. After all, isn't everyone having sex? 

Your peers in school may literally brag about their escapades and they seem to be doing totally fine.

All these things can make you think - Isn't it better to just give in? 

Now, wait a minute! Let us also clear the air on some things 

First of all, not everyone is having sex. 

Yes, we know that the U.S statistics show a large number of teenagers below and above 18 experimenting with sex before they even finished high school 

The Statistics say 2 out of 3 youths in the United States become sexually active by the time they finish high school.

True, but that also means 1 out of 3 - which is a sizeable number are not! 

So yes, there are people who are keeping themselves to get on the right grounds before engaging in sex and these people are not nerds. 

Abstaining from presex does not turn you into a nerd or a weirdo instead it shows that you have a great strength of character and how chaste you are. 

Even better you have no idea how happy God is when you say NO! to the temptation of presex. 

And then is nothing better, than when God is happy because of the decision that you have made. 

Teens who engage in presex may have one or more of the following amongst others:

 

DISTRESS 

Engaging in presex comes with guilt and regret. Many teenagers who have indulged in it say that they regretted it afterward. 

NEGATIVE ILLUSIONS 

The truth is, girls would prefer someone who will protect them, not use them. 

Many boys find out that they are less attracted to a girl that has given in to their advances. 

Also, a number of boys have said that they would NEVER marry a girl they have had sex with! 

Why? Well, that's because they prefer someone that is more chaste 

The truth is the media has created an illusionary and glamorizing view of premarital sex. 

Presex is far different from what is shown on TV.

Anyone trying to coax you into premarital sex are only looking out for their own interests and not for yours(1 Corinthians 13:4, 5) 

What does that mean? It means they do not care about you, and they do not love you. 

Because love is patient... 

Ask yourself - Would anyone who truly loves you endanger your physical and emotional well-being? (Proverbs 5: 3, 4) And would anyone who truly cares for you tempt you to jeopardize your relationship with God?—Hebrews 13:4. The answer? No! 

Please understand, that we are not saying dating is wrong but what is wrong is sex before being legally married.

God is not against dating, but he's against sleeping with the person whom you're not married to 

If you’re a young man and you’re dating, what has been stated in this chapter should give you a reason to reflect on the relationship you’re involved in. Ask yourself, ‘Do I really care for my girlfriend?’ If your answer is yes, how can you best show it? 

By having the strength to uphold God’s laws, the wisdom to avoid tempting circumstances, and the love to look out for her interests. 

 If you have such qualities, then likely your girlfriend’s feelings will be similar to those of the morally upright Shulammite, who said: “My dear one is mine and I am his.” (Song of Solomon 2:16) 

In short, you’ll be her hero! 

Sex is beautiful and it's worth waiting for. 

As a teenager whether male or female, if you were to give in to the pressures of premarital sex you would be degrading yourself 

DEALING WITH THE PRESSURES 

Trying to stay chaste but it doesn't seem to be working? Is someone trying to coax you into having sex with them? Do your emotions run wild when you're around the opposite sex? 

Then do this: 

1. Learn To Say No And Mean It 

Say No to the person trying to coax you into sleeping with them Say no to your body. This may sound like a hard thing to do, but it is very vital 

2. Avoid Every scene Of Sexual Temptation 

Remember the story of Joseph in the Bible and how he fled from Potiphar's wife? 

In the same vein, you must avoid every occurrence that might lead to falling into this temptation. Like the scene of Charlotte and Billy up there. 

For example as a girl, avoid going to a guy's house when it's late at night, avoid being alone with the opposite sex in a lonely place Avoid meetings with the opposite sex in their personal houses. 

If someone tries to coax you into sex by saying, “If you love me, you’ll do this,” firmly reply, “If you love me, you won’t ask!” 

Your body is far too valuable to give away. 

 And then when the time is right and you do get married you can have all the sex you want without any contrary feelings or insecurities 

Of course, stolen kisses are sweet but then God does not want you to steal the kisses because when you do get married all the kisses are for you.

More on this subject in the Teens Arise Magazine